illustration (attribution, if any possible, is at the end of the article)
Our desire to predict what others would do —so we can label and pick who's 'beneficial' and who's 'harmful' to be around— pushes them to present a coherent story of a self, with fixed values and tendencies, and a long narrative to testify of these!
That is to say: our desire to reassure ourselves makes us push others towards making up stories about themselves that they can promote, regardless of "reality as it is," regardless of their freedom to change their mind, regardless of their potential, regardless of their selflessness! Our desire to reassure ourselves makes us push others towards 'ignorance'…
Our anxiety to control the world creates a prison for others.
And vice versa.
Thus, one of the biggest gifts we can give to others is… not to label them!
That's 'allowing' them to change, to evolve, to grow… That's allowing them to forgive "for no reason", simply out of "not clinging"… That's also allowing them to let go of grief "for no reason" (without having to justify why one doesn't grieve 'anymore', without projections of "too early")… That's allowing them to let go of limitations, and to become buddhas.
So if you wish to live surrounded by buddhas, you know what you need to stop doing: not just realise 'your' selflessness but also others'!
unattributed photo (via costumeplanet.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/chuba-tibetan-traditional-clothing.html)