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Freeing yourself from guilt, blame and shame
November 12th, 2017
Freeing yourself from guilt, blame and shame

A key facet of self-less-ness is non-special-ness: you're not special, your suffering is not special… it's just what happens when the 'right' conditions are combined.
You're not powerless: you can amend present conditions, you can plant wholesome seeds for future conditions, so this is not a variation on the passive « shit happens ». But be clear you're not special, it's not special; in fact, it's because it's not special that you're not powerless, that you don't need magic or special powers to intervene!

And this wholesome view of non-special-ness has important consequences… one of which being that when you wish « all beings » to be « free from unsatisfactoriness », the 'all' includes 'you' too!
So if you'd see it wise (and true friendship) to offer non-judgemental space and warmth to a struggling friend, rather than rushed condemnation, you should see it wise to offer the same to yourself when you struggle.
And "true friendship" makes much sense in Buddhism, from the "four immeasurables" (incl. "empathetic joy") to the "sangha" to "admirable friendship" (kalyanamittata, a cause for the development of skilful qualities, a prerequisite for awakening, or even the whole of holy life!).

#Buddhism #Dharma
Previous post on special-ness:
On "admirable friendship" (kalyanamittata), see
Buddhism has no specific guideline on supporting teachers, it simply asks for you to consider causality: if you want this living tradition to survive, how are you participating, in practical terms, to make this happen? Nice words, exposure or social media ‘likes’ might feel good, but they do not actually help with the basic necessities:
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