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   Following the viral 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman, some men and  women have used the &…
November 2nd, 2014
   Following the viral 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman, some men and  women have used the "relax, it's a compliment"  excuse to perpetuate the status quo.  Why change what's clearly not constructive?

   Alex Alvarez straightens things up nicely:
by paul beard:
I didn't watch the much-discussed video but I think this addresses what I know about it: 

To anchor this more concretely, consider the behavior of the men in the video. Take a look at how they seek the woman out to wish her a good morning, despite her not having made eye contact  or shown any interest in talking to them. Take a look at how they’re not wishing a good morning to any other person, particularly male people, also walking around. The woman is walking directly behind the man filming her (the camera is hidden in his backpack), and not one of the men shown in the video are seen to be greeting him and wishing him a good day. Just her.

Why is this?

It’s because they don’t care, really whether she has a good day or not. What they care about is letting her know that they have noticed her — her hair, her face, her body, her outfit. They want her to notice that they’ve noticed, and they want her to notice them, however fleetingly. 
[…]
These are not compliments. These are leers that borrow the language of compliments.

This is not friendliness, because friendliness exists for its own sake.

This is not polite behavior, because the aim of etiquette is to establish a set, consistent system of behavior to allow people to feel comfortable.

This is not being nice, because a truly nice person would take care to gauge the response of the person to whom he’s speaking, and be able to sense and move away from anything causing discomfort. A truly nice person isn’t nice for his own benefit.

I hope this clears up the confusion a little bit.

More than ever, it makes clear how weak and childish these men must be, to assume anyone would want to respond or engage in any kind of relationship with them. 
Click on image to continue:
illustration

"Relax, it's a compliment."